Top 10 Messages Left on Sen. Roxas' Answering Machine

I am reprinting this because when I saw Sen Roxas in a party, the first thing he told me was, "Did you read that list of ten things that mentioned you twice?" And then he let out a wicked laughter.

I told him I am not the professional heckler and don't intend to be one, since I am part of the group (those darned politicians) that deserve to be heckled. I am reprinting this because it is still going the rounds, and being quoted out of context, and being mangled. As they say in Lit Theory class, let us go back and retrieve a fair copy of the text. So here goes:

10 Messages Left on Mar's Answering Machine:

10: Senator Roxas, this is Yolly Ong of Campaigns & Grey. I think you’ll need our help.

9: Mar, Si Archbishop Cruz ‘to. Amen!

8: Hello senator, Danton Remoto here. Naloka ako sa ‘yo!

7: Hi, it’s Teddy Locsin. I thought my “Fuck You” then was good. But your “Putang Ina” was awesome!

6: Mar, si Erap ‘to. Salamat sa pagmumura mo. At least, mas madaling ma-narrow down ang choices ng opposition.

5: Manuel, this is your mamita! Hijo naman, ano na lang ang iisipin ng akin mga amiga? Na ikaw ay persona mal educado? Na mal ejemplo ako bilang madre de familia? Usted debe pedir perdón! (Read: You must apologize!) Ahora mismo!

4: Hello senator, Danton Remoto again. In fairness, lalaking-lalaki ka that night!

3: Hon, Korina here. Ang tanga-tanga mo! Di ka ba na-inform na may nakatutok na camera?

2: Mar, it’s Senator Villar. Hahahahahahahahaha! One down.

And the No. 1 message left on Sen. Mar Roxas’ answering machine…

1: ‘Tol, si Mikey ‘to. Puta’ng ina mo rin!


hector_olympus said...

bwisit na top ten to!

para kong tangang tawa ng tawa mag isa sa opis.

lalo na sa # 2&1.

nice, mikey.


hahaha very funny

salbehe said...

sigurado kang hindi ka si professional heckler? :D